The Secret to a Happy Marriage 💕

Introduction to Male Chastity

Dos and Don’ts
Rules for the Couple
Chastity in a Relationship
When to Allow Release
How to Allow Release

Finding a Chastity Device
Chastity Device Comparison Table
Chastity Accessories

Happy Couples
Chastity Tracker

How to Allow Release 💦

Now that you know when to let your husband ejaculate, I will briefly discuss how you let him ejaculate. Like always this is totally up to you as the keyholder, so don’t be afraid to be creative! As mentioned earlier, I would recommend to always leave the base ring in place when unlocking him and to re-lock him as soon as possible after you’re finished.


Some women like letting him masturbate, because they like to watch or because they don’t want to lift a finger themselves. He should always do it in your presence, never alone. There should be a time limit, never more than a few minutes, so you can make sure he only comes when is actually horny. Maybe you can even give him instructions (“slower”, “now hands off”, “as fast as you can”, “don’t stroke, only rub the head”, ...).

During Penis-in-Vagina Sex

artwork by MARE (

It is up to you, but my recom­men­dation would be to not let him come during inter­course be­cause sex and ejacu­lation need to be sepa­rated to avoid acci­dents. If your husband struggles to last during sex, he can wear a penis sleeve or strap-on to avoid ejaculation.

My husband and me have sex regularly, but it’s about my needs and ejaculation is never expected. After I’ve had my orgasm (or two), we cuddle for a while to feel closer to each other. I really enjoy these moments. Once his erection has calmed down, I put the chastity device back on and then we either watch a show together or roll over and fall asleep.

On special occassions I allow him to finish inside me, but I have recently started to tell him to go down on me and clean it up afterwards. Not only does it feel good to be clean again but I also love knowing that he does it just because he wants to please me.


You can decide. I talked to a woman who will only let her boyfriend come when she gives him a blowjob. Her logic is that blowjobs are his favourite and hence, on the rare occasion that he is allowed release, she wants to give him maximum pleasure. Personally, I used to give my husband a lot of blowjobs but since we started chastity I rarely give them anymore because I feel like I don’t have to.


This is the main method I use to make my husband orgasm. You want to make it about you and not him. It’s no longer his orgasm, it’s your game – you’ve got control of the joystick and he’s here for your fun. Here are some ideas to spice things up:


You could give him a handjob but tell him to last at least a certain amount of time. Make sure you’re arousing him as much as possible, be it with sexy underwear or with sexy words. If he doesn’t manage to last long enough, he will be “punished” (you can decide how). A possible “punishment” could be to not stop stroking until the time is up no matter what, for example you tell him to last for at least fifteen minutes, and if he comes too early you will simply keep stroking for the remaining time.

Alternatively, you can give your husband a maximum time, for example, if his last ejaculation was two weeks ago, you could give him no more than two minutes to come. If he doesn’t make it in time, he will be re-locked and you can tell him with a big grin that he was obviously not horny enough and should be locked up a bit longer next time. Some women even “train” their husbands to come as quick as possible, either because they like the feeling of being too hot to handle for him or because he lasts too long and it gets exhausting.

Post-orgasm stimulation

This is when you don’t stop stroking after he ejaculates. When a man orgasms, his glans soon begins feeling extra sensitive and wants to be left alone. If you keep stroking and rubbing his glans he will be overwhelmed by the intense feeling. You may need to restrain his hands before! But don’t worry, what you’re doing is completely harmless, like tickling. It’s just too funny when my husband is asking me to stop stroking his cock.

Touchless orgasm

This is when you stimulate him until just before the “point of no return” and then remove your hand and stop all stimulation. If you time it right, instead of ejaculating in “bursts”, the semen flows effortlessly down the penis – hence they are also misleadingly called “ruined” orgasms. If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more, even though he just ejaculated. Touchless orgasms are great when you want to give him an orgasm but still leave him horny when you lock him back up. I found this great article ↗ explaining how to give him a touchless orgasm – some quotes below:

“The so-called “ruined” orgasm is one of the most intensely pleasurable (…) tricks you can use in the bedroom to drive your man into an animal sexual frenzy. (…) The name is misleading: it’s still an orgasm! It’s not “ruined” at all! (…) Don’t feel bad about ruining your man’s orgasm! I simply cannot say it enough. (…) To bend your man’s brain and give him truly epic ruined orgasms, you need to know his body very, very well. You need to study his specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify the first possible moment in the sequence where you can let go and cause him to still cascade through climax. Arched back, tensed muscles, grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls – every man has his signals. (…) Instead of letting go “at the last second” you actually want to let go as early as possible. You want him to hang, untouched, on the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his body reflexively sends him over. Do it correctly, and his cum should just dribble out, under weak contractions. (…) In order to find his true point-of-no-return, you need to study the cascade of physical reactions happening in his body until you find the point where he lingers for 5 to 15 seconds, untouched, before leaking uncontrollably. (…) Another huge clue that you’re “doing it right” will be in his refractory period – or lack of one. After a typical good ruined orgasm, his cock should not “wilt” at all. He should stay aroused, erect, and eager for more action.”

Playful submission

This can be a lot of fun and you can be really creative here. Some ideas:

Keep him guessing. Every single time you touch his penis, he should never know if you intend to tease and deny him, “ruin” him, or give him a normal orgasm. Lie to him. Tell him you’re going to stop, then don’t. Or tell him you’re going to ruin him, then give him a full orgasm. Or congratulate him on the orgasm you’re about to give him, then “change your mind” and stop for the night. This only works if you also sometimes tell the truth.

artwork by MARE (

Now that you know how to be a keyholder, why don’t you learn about chastity devices 🔒
or skip the technical stuff and read about other women’s experiences 🔞 (contains nudity).